Stop Hating Yourself For What You Aren't, and Start Loving Yourself For What You Are!

I haven't even started this post yet and I already want to call myself a hypocrite and throw a pie in my own face. Partly because it is true, and partly because pie sounds super good! Me talking about self worth and not comparing ourselves to others is kind of a joke because I don't always practice what I preach. I feel like this is maybe a hard thing for a lot of people to master? Yes?.... No?? (cricket sounds)

Okay, jokes aside - let's do this!

Self Worth - the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.

Okay! Pretty simple to understand when read aloud. Self worth seems like a concept that should be easier to grasp than say .... nuclear physics. BUT GUESS WHAT!? It isn't. At all. It is one of the most difficult skills (yes, I would classify it as a skill) that I feel mankind could ever possess. Why is loving yourself SO strenuous? Let me break it down from my own perspective. Feel free to take this all in stride - I am clearly not an expert on anything. Especially blogging. 

We have so many outside forces in our world constantly tearing us down. Our religion is wrong, no matter what it is. The way we parent is whack, especially if you have more than one or two children. You shop on an inside aisle of the grocery store and purchase a GMO filled poison trap such as a box of Pop-Tarts. Congratulations, you are now going to die a fiery death in the pit of obesity! (Seriously though, just eat a swiss roll and be happy for five seconds.) The social media world, which we all SATURATE ourselves in - is the worst culprit. There will always be someone prettier, skinnier, wealthier, smarter, etc - IF you let your mind wander there and believe that horse shit. This is so serious right now that I am using a swear word. 

DON'T STRESS if that celebrity who has millions upon millions of dollars has the prettiest face you've ever seen and abs that look painted on because they are so perfect. Read that previous sentence again. Celebrity + millions upon millions of dollars = personal make up artist, personal chef, personal trainer, full time nanny, full time maid, insane high end wardrobe, full time photographer with every editing trick in the book, and possibly a professional painter who actually does paint her abs on. GUYS. This is not reality. Not even close. You cannot compare yourself with someone like this. Your worth is not measured by any of these things. 

DON'T STRESS if the lady next door has ten kids who behave all the time. If you only have one kid and he is a total hell raiser - GOOD FOR YOU! You are doing awesome and the Lord appreciates every honest effort you make. We have to stop saying "I just have one kid, my trials could never compare to yours." Or "My kid sleeps through the night so I can't complain because my neighbor has a newborn baby that's up all of the hours." Trials and hard moments that come along with being a parent are different for everyone. Comparing trials is probably the silliest thing you can ever do. I used to get so frustrated with people when they would complain about their husband leaving for a day or two. Mine was gone 4-5 months at a time for four years! I had to catch myself often and try to remember that everyone handles things differently and that is okay! Someone might be a single mom, or have more kids than you, or may be battling an illness while juggling it all. My point is - do not discredit your feelings and difficulties just because you may think someone has it worse than you. Do not judge other people around you when they are having a hard time with something that you think is easy. We all handle trials differently. What is easier for you is excruciating for another and vice versa. Your worth is not measured by how hardcore you are about your trials. 

DON'T STRESS if that chick you follow on Instagram was able to lose 100lbs after having babies and is now an olympic level cross fit trainer with bigger muscles than your husband. Most stories like this take years to accomplish.. not magically in five seconds after you've had your fourth child (guilty.) I do this ALL.THE.TIME. A month after my last baby was born, I would stare at myself in the mirror and nit pick every single part of my body that I didn't like. I still do it. My baby wasn't even able to hold her head up yet and I had convinced myself that I was a failure because I hadn't magically shed the extra 30lbs. I am one of those super lucky people who can't lose any baby weight until I only eat egg whites, chicken and broccoli all day everyday for a few months. It is super lame, but its the hand I was dealt. It takes a few months for me to mentally prepare to take on my weight loss after pregnancies. That being said, we are all guilty of harboring life-consuming envy of the woman who doesn't gain a dimple anywhere during all of her pregnancies. She fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans when she left the hospital, right after she gave birth naturally AND looked like a super model doing it. (Oh, is that just me feeling the out of control jealousy?! Okay.) Instead of breeding envy, let's culture good will. Be happy for her. I promise she struggles often and goes through heart wrenching trials just like you. Your worth is not measured by how quickly you lose baby (or other) weight.

DON'T STRESS when you are making boxed macaroni for dinner the third time this week. It happens. When my husband used to travel all summer for work, I literally made macaroni and cheese or frozen pizza at least once a day. I felt like the worst mom in the history of the world. My kids thought I was the best mom in the history of the world. It evens out :) Yes, it is important to throw fruits and veggies at them throughout the day, but they won't always eat them. Don't beat yourself up about it. Blend them up in spaghetti sauce or throw some greens in a fruit smoothie. They won't always be this picky. Your worth is not measured by how many balanced meals you make in a week.

DON'T STRESS when you feel like all you see are families going on vacations to the beach, disneyland, and fancy resorts. I struggle so much with this. We do not live lavishly by any means, and we have never ever taken a family vacation anywhere. For some reason I feel like if I don't take my kids to Disney World before they turn one, then they have the worst childhood ever. GIVE ME A BREAK. Kids don't need over the top getaways. They don't need any of it. They crave quality time with their parents and siblings more than anything else. That can happen in your family room with a ripped Candy Land game. Get out of the house and take a family walk. Go to the park. Grab a cheap ice cream cone and let them eat it on the hood of the car. It's the little things. Besides, if you want to get real right now - traveling hours at a time in a car with a bunch of young children is pretty much a nightmare. Your worth is not measured by the money you spend on a family vacation.  

If we could just see ourselves the way God does, this world would be an incredibly different place. If we could celebrate others successes instead of turning green with envy, so much more good could be done. Don't stress about what you aren't. Don't stress about what you don't have. Cultivate what you do have. Take care of yourself. Work hard to better yourself spiritually and physically at your own pace and don't bite off more than you can chew. You are SO important and so loved not only by our Heavenly Father but also by your people. Your people love you, they want what is best for you. They need you to be happy. They need you to love yourself. How will we ever love others the way we want to when we don't first love ourselves? Do it guys. Work hard at it. I promise each day will get immeasurably better if you do. Oh, and its totally not weird to stand in front of the mirror and say something nice about yourself. I triple dog dare you to try it! 

"Your worth is already established. It is infinite and that does not change. The problem isn’t that we don’t {know} our self worth, it is that we have a hard time {remembering} it with all the outside influences in our lives. My husband told me once that there is a reason we have two ears: satan {yells} in one, and the spirit {whispers} in the other." -All Fox Carraway