You are SO enough!

You are enough.

YOU are ENOUGH.

YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

If you ever see me through out the day and you think I am a complete crazy person talking to myself - well, you are right. I say these three words (with the addition of an air fist pump or two for added effect) DAILY.

I have never been a woman bubbling over with self confidence. Do those magical unicorn women exist?! Maybe. I haven't met one yet but crazier things have happened. I struggle constantly with insecurities and fears.

Am I educated enough? (high school diploma is at least under my belt)
Am I pretty enough? (I felt like I was when I was 20)
Am I skinny enough? (Three of my four kids I had in less than five years so draw your own conclusion)
Am I gentle enough? (*throat clear*)
Am I patient enough? (aaaaaanother no)
Will I ever stop having to budget every single second of my family's life to the very last penny each month?! (oh man, I hope so)

Does Satan break me down to nothing EVERY SINGLE DAY?! Hell yes he does, and I have to find a way to change it.

Most of my posts on here have been pretty personal. I know I don't have a huge audience reading them so maybe that is why I am brave enough to write it all down. Either way, I know there are women out there who fight the negative effects of Satan's stupid face everyday and can relate to my feelings. This is for YOU. You deserve all the flowers, all the high fives, all the bear hugs, all the chocolates, sodas and french fries you want. Or I guess giant salads full of veggies and stuff if thats your thing.

When you have done your fifth load of laundry on a Monday.

When your fourth kid in a two week span has gotten the stomach flu and you are once again wiping up vomit off of your pants and down your shirt.

When you have swept the kitchen floor for the hundredth time since breakfast and its only lunch time.

When you own an evil magic sink that replicates the dirty dishes every time you empty it. Seriously though, how do these dishes keep getting in there when no one has been eating anything?!

When it seems like everyone around you is more successful, patient, loving- and yet you can't seem to get your shiz together long enough in the mornings to shove food in your kids mouths before school starts.

When another person judges you for the decisions you make on how many kids you will have. Yes, we have chosen a permanent method of birth control.. why are you so concerned about my husbands sperm count?!

When you mention you've been divorced before and the entire room goes silent. (Does that just happen to me?!)

When your husband gets home from work and you know its really reeeeeeally important to shave your legs and wash your hair for the first time this week so he isn't totally repulsed later when its time to "cuddle".

When some days are just SO hard. On days it feels like you are barely keeping your head above water while juggling a million things (half of which don't need to be weighing you down)

These are the days when you need to let go. These are the days where you need to figure out what is most important and be okay with only getting those things done. Some days it may only be one thing you accomplish successfully and ITS ALL GOOD! Being a mom is tough stuff. It is beautiful and wonderful, but it is HARD.

Am I a master at this? Of letting go and loosening the reigns of control on life? HAHA! Not at all. I am the psycho who is tirelessly cleaning my kitchen after dinner instead of going out back with my kids to play tag. I am the mom who raises my voice multiple times a day at my little babies for the dumbest reasons. I am the wife who is nagging my husband about things he did that "ruined my day" - such as leaving his dirty socks on the floor. (I MEAN COME ON BETH, just pick them up and serve him. They are just a pair of dirty socks not a festering pile of rat poop) I make mistakes everyday. I fall to my knees and repent every. single. night. and then still make mistakes the next day.

The point I am trying to make here is that I am enough. YOU are enough. If you are trying each day to be better, you are enough! The Lord knows your heart. He understands the immense love you have for your children and He knows they are in good hands. He chose you to be their mother. He brought you and your husband together to raise these babies because YOU BOTH are the best people for the job. So give yourself a freaking high five and keep pushing along.

You got this.