The Future Is As Bright As Your Faith!

Stressing about money? Kids? Housing? Jobs? Health? Relationships? Check. Check. Check... How many times can I check these boxes as yes?! Hundreds? Okay, great.


READERS! All two of you.

If you don't listen to anything else I say, please hear this and let it marinate. Stress is an ugly, consuming, exhausting and deadly force. Really. Apparently it can lead to a pretty serious increase in health risks. CARDIOVASCULAR CALAMITY, people!

I honestly feel like from ages 22 to 28 I have gone from this....

To this...

You probably think I am being dramatic. I promise you I am not. Pinky swear. Pregnancies, kids, money, trials, marriage (juuuuuuuuuuust kidding honey), moving, different callings, confusion about career paths, etc - have ROCKED my world. Moments have gone from excruciating to beautiful in a matter of seconds. I think that is the BEST part about being married and having babies and being stuck in a whirlwind of chaos. One day you feel like you can't survive, and then the next you are on top of the world! It helps me to build strength for the hard days, and then to recognize and appreciate my blessings on the good days. If we are being real here, my bad days out number my good.. but what else is to be expected?! I have four kids, ALL GIRLS, with completely different personalities. However they all have one maddening thing in common - DRAMA. All day everyday. Drama. Drama. Drama. It is exhausting.  I don't know if I could ever make it through a day without raising my voice or feeling stress of some kind.

We have had a crazy ride since day one. Money has never been in excess, which causes a lot of stress. Does abundance of money happen for some newly married couples? Instagram and Facebook says it does. Sooo it has to be true, right? I married an incredibly wonderful man who was blessed/cursed with an entrepreneurial brain. A "normal" nine to five lifestyle with a college degree was never in our cards. He withheld that little piece of information from me until AFTER we said "I do." We have changed jobs often, he's traveled quite a bit, and we still haven't been able to find the money to do what we want. He's been dreaming about starting a business for years, and we will get there someday... Sooooooooomedaaaaaaaay. That word is annoying. I feel like it is overused in our house a lot, which is something I want to work hard to change. 

"Someday when we have money, I want to buy a boat."

"Someday when we have money, we should always keep a supply of beef jerky."

"Someday when we have money, I am not going to use these 10 year old cartoon character dinner plates that we 'borrowed' from our parents' kitchen cabinets."

"Someday we will be debt free." (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA) 

It is SO hard to live in the moment. People say "just live in the moment" - like its this easy thing to accomplish. Not getting angry at every crappy thing that happens, not obsessively focusing on the future, and not getting bothered by hand-me-downs isn't realistic. It is difficult! That doesn't make you snotty or materialistic or greedy. It is natural for humans to want more, to work for more. I think thats the best thing ever! There is nothing in the world that frustrates me more than when people get angry or jealous of others when they are successful. Nine times out of ten, they worked their butts off for it and totally deserve it. We all get dealt unfortunate hands once in a while. No one is immune to that. Even the people who are wiping their bums with hundred dollar bills have had their low moments.. Am I right?! Taylor Swift, are you reading this? You have lame days, right?

When we decided to move here from Arizona, I thought we had it all figured out. I had this idea in my head that coming to Utah would solve all of the problems that my husband was running into with finding sales reps. I mean, we were moving to the mormon college boy capital of the world. What better breeding grounds could there be for recruiting?! WRONG. Nothing that was happening in my day dreaming brain happened in real life. He had to go out of state for yet another five month stretch to work, which was the entire reason we left Arizona. We didn't want him gone for half the year anymore. BUZZ KILL. Luckily, we've loved living here and have cultivated some incredible friendships and memories that we will cherish forever. To this day though, it is still hard to accept that we moved here with what we thought was spiritual direction, and now feel like we haven't progressed much. We have more debt from moving expenses, taxes, etc. and I loathe debt. It is the worst. I want to blow it up and let it burn in a fiery hell pit. But that's life. Debt is a part of life. Maybe not debt from buying a thousand dollar hand bag.. but debt from moving or for a reliable vehicle is just the way it goes. I hope when I am in heaven, the plan that God had for us moving away from our family and AZ home (for however long we stay here), will be revealed to us. For now, I will just have to trust that it was for a good reason. 

I have had to realize (grudgingly) that progression isn't purely financial. That is only a small part. My testimony has grown and been strengthened since living here. My marriage is stronger. I have a newly discovered appreciation for the beauty the Lord created on this earth because Utah is outrageous. Countless times I have been overwhelmed by my surroundings since living here. I have become more outgoing. I am no longer a level ten hermit.. maybe more like a level five. I have learned to love serving others more. I have been to the temple more times while living here than I ever did before. Who knows, maybe the spark for this blog wouldn't have happened if we never left Arizona. I like to think these posts are relatable to someone out there reading them. 

My point is - we all need to try a little harder to exercise patience and not let the common stresses in our lives consume us. We will miss so many tender moments. The best times for me have been the ones that come quietly. They are never loud or lottery winning amazing. They are the ones when my kids bear hug each other and giggle for no specific reason. They are the moments when I catch my sweet husband looking at me in a way that makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. They are the ones when time literally seems to go in slow motion. You look around the kitchen table and every single person has a smile on their face and is enjoying dinner together as a family. THAT is what it is all about you guys. That is the beauty of life. Money will come and go. Jobs will come and go. When you focus your energy on the people you love and do what is asked of you by the Lord, everything else will fall into place. It may take one year, it may take twenty. 

Even if it does take years upon years - the real, raw, beautiful moments leading up to accomplishing your goals will be the best of your life. 

"How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.

Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.

The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

{Joseph B Wirthlin "Come What May and Love It"}